I've been trying to find time to sit down and write an actual blog post for a few days now.
It's not that I don't have things to write about; I do and in mass quantities. I have a lot to be thankful about right now and more things keep coming in to keep my spirits up and positive while I feel like the size of a house. Ha.
Instead, I give you this list of "10 Things to help make a Happier Marriage" from the book Happiness for Two: 75 Secrets for Finding More Joy Together by Amy Stoddard.

1. Write each other's New Year's resolutions. If written, prods weren't nags.
2. Begin each encounter with a smile.
3. It feels good to look good.
4. Write love notes.
5. Give the gift of eye contact.
6. Grumpiness is contagious. Being more mindful of mood could ward off secondhand blues.
7. Try not to interrupt.
8. Generous compliments lighten the heart.
9. Control your tone.
10. Celebrate more.

Try it!

Yeah, I know... not as "real" as I had hoped either

When was your first kiss?
Um, well, it was this boy named Dan at summer camp..... strangely enough, it was pretty crappy. Shortly thereafter, I started dating my now-husband and our first kiss was much more memorable.
Who's your celebrity crush?
I have a sincere girl-crush on Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Kate Hudson, and Gwen Stefani. However, if we are talking about man-candy, Owen Wilson, Johnny Depp, Jonathon Rhys Meyers, and the quintissential Brad Pitt take the cake.
What's the girl fashion trend that confuses you?
Right now, it would be these scarves. I think they make people look like banditos! All they need is a donkey and some cocaine.
What's the girlie movie you secretly love?
50 First Dates is my all-time guilty pleasure. I have probably seen it over a thousand times (not an exaggeration... just ask Shark Fin) and can quote the entire thing. MY FAVE FOR REALZZZZ.
What's your TV guilty pleasure?
My love for Gossip Girl is well known already, but I also heart watching both The Biggest Loser and SuperNanny. Oh and Two and a Half Men on My TV Z!
Who would play you in the movie version of your life?
Natalie Portman. She's got my nose! (And unlike my twin, Winona Ryder, she does not have a theft problem!)
What's your dream job?
Pediatric or oncology nurse. Really awesome and creative stay-at-home-mom/wife. Radio City Rockette (I would need rhythm for that).
If you could trade places with anyone in the world for one day, who would it be?
Hrm. Alessandra Ambrosio for sure.
Who in your family are you closest to?
My sister-in-law...... and probably, my mom by default. <---- she's more observant than she lets on!
What's your favorite Web site?
My iGoogle page. Or this or this. Or this. OOOH! Or this! Since I am whipping my husband and my father-in-law's bootays in our league!
What's the fast food you can't live without?
Any fountain soda from any fast-food place (usually McDonald's is the most reliable) or a chocolate milkshake from Hardee's (definately don't taste like a fast-food milkshake). Everything else, I'll pass on.
What's your worst habit?
I am a scab-picker. Gah. So juvenile. But, it's true. Since childhood, I have this disgusting unneccesary love with picking my scabs off and watching the blood come out. Gah. So awful.... not to mention now I have a crap-ton of scars.
What's the last song you listened to on your iPod?
Wow that was a while ago. I believe, though, it was "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac, which is ironic. :)
What's the last thing you bought?
See my fast-food confession AND a slurpee at 11:15am today.
What did you dream about last night?
I dreamt, like I have for a few nights in a row now, dreamt that I tried to breastfeed Baby R and it didn't work out and she was tiny and starting to shrink as I held her, the more I tried to force her to nurse, so I started screaming for "FORMULA!!!! NOW!" and the nurses wouldn't give it to me. So I ran through the naval hospital, buns flpping out the back of my gown, clutching Baby R, and got outside, where coveniently nextdoor was a store with a big flashing sign called "Formula R Us" and I busted through the door, screaming, "my baby needs food!"
TRAUMATIC.
How much money is in your wallet right now?
I just gave my last $3 in cash to a co-worker for a Boss' Day flower arrangement.
Fill in the blank: When I was 17, I was ____________.
Hrm. Angst-ridden and had burgundy hair-ed. :)

NieNie Link!

Real blog post for today is coming....... in the meantime, here is a link to one of my favourite NieNie blogs:

On Being Proud - Originally Posted 9/15/05

Again, things I love

This post on Segullah about big families.

I realize that I am not LDS. I realize that I was raised for most (if not all of my life) to think that LDS-ers are CRAZY!RADICALS! that wear magical underwear, believe that God is going to give them a PLANET after they die, and only have valid marriages if they are married in the temple.
WHATEVERRRRR.

No longer care about all that.

Why? Because of these two LDS wimmenses and their blogs, I have new affection for their LDS outlook on marriage, family commitment, etc.

CJane and her amazing sister, NieNie

(Read 'em one day when you have a lot of time and a big mug of apple cider. Believe me, you won't be able to stop!)

Shopping Website I Love

Shabby Apple


Now, I haven't ordered anything from them yet...... but the dresses are sooooooo loverly I may not be able to wait until after Baby R is born to order something.


We will see....

RIP Paul Newman

Seriously, the hottest "classic" actor out there.

A great obituary article is here.

Things I am thankful for......

(......at this particular moment. )

1. This blog. Why? Because I am overwhelmed every post I read from c jane. Despite everything her family has been going through since this in August, despite the fact that she has an INFANT and is caring for three out of her sister's four kids, despite all of that and the day to day workings of her own life, she is optimistic, writes beautifully about her hopes/fears/memories/struggles/etc. She has such incredible FAITH in our Heavenly Father and his plans for her, her sister's family, and how they are all intertwined. They are able to daily surprise me with their unending strength, positivity, and love that I really really hope and pray that Shark Fin and I are able to emulate even a fraction of what they do.... that our little tribe grows up with as deep of connections to eachother as c jane and her sisters have, as all their kids have.
2. It's finally FALL in Virginia. Thank goodness. It's my favourite season of the year, probably because to me, it's the time when the earth looks most like a rich oil painting. All the gorgeous deep colours, the full moons, the crisp breezes... not to mention pumpkins, apples and apple cider, corn stalks, hay rides, crunchy leaves under your feet. *sigh* BEAUTIFUL. (as a side note on the apples, I made this recipe from the September issue of Everyday with Rachael Ray magazine and yes, it was just as tasty [and EASY!] as it sounds!).
3. Our church and the relationships that continue to bloom there. I know I have struggled, complained even, often recently about living here in Virginia. So far away from the people and places I am familiar with (I would say we but Shark Fin has a way of just going with the flow that I both find annoying and am envious of), being pregnant with our first baby and missing them all terribly, feeling out of place still in the place we have lived for 2 years! Gah. It sucks, sometimes. But then, we have this amazing church - incredibly inspriring, passionate, ON FIRE - and we have so many people we know through church. They want to see us prosper, to see us thrive and do big things. They have faith in what we are capable of, even when we don't. They are always there, to pray with us and for us. I just have to make more of an effort to rely on them for the things they are so willing to provide for us - support, prayer, coversation even. I'm resolving to do that.
4. Shark Fin. I know, how cliche.... but really, I couldn't have created a better husband, soulmate, life companion, keeper of my heart if I had tried. God really did make him just for me.

I think four is good for right now. :) What are YOU thankful for?

Boops

This article makes me smile.

Why? Because, even though I haven't made a decision yet about MY baby, it's nice to know other, non-breast moms feel the same way I do about boobie-mom attitudes.

Today is a good day.

The weather is finally Fall-ish, worthy of calling it Fall at least. My favourite season.
I have reconciled myself to what is to come with the toxicity I posted about previously. I am trying to be "less of me, more of God" and so far, it has brought me some of the peace I was hoping for. That is wonderful.
My hair is long and beautiful. The cooler weather is allowing me to fully appreciate it, without getting angry at how hot it makes me head. It is a lovely shade of honey brown. It flips in cute places and stays flat in others. It is soft and light and bouncy.
A blessing, a bright light, has popped up in terms of my job with the City. After so many prayers for peace of mind where our family finances and the impending arrival of this baby are concerned, I believe this is the answer we have been seeking. God has planted this seed in front of me/us, and now I/we have to make it grow. I am so thankful for it, so hopeful for it's possibilities, and praying now for wisdom, guidance, and favor as we progress. God is GOOD!
The baby in my tummy is happy and healthy. She is moving and bouncing and kicking all the time. She gets the hiccups a few times a week and loves to hear her daddy talk or sing or anything really. She likes to stick her feet out and let me rub them. She kicks the puppies when they rest their faces on my belly. We have our first baby class ("Baby Boot Camp") this Saturday and I am kind of nervous. I know it sounds silly, but the classes starting means we are really, really close to meeting our little girl and moving into the next phase of our lives: parenting.

Today is a good, no, a REALLY good day.

Hair

I straightened my hair today.

It's effing long.


Wow.

GOSSIP GIRL is for BOYS TOO!

And this article from Newsweek totally proves it!


I WIN

Family Moment Monday

(Since I am a slacker of epic proporations, this is only my second participation in FMM but I'm working on being more consistent, I swear!)

Today we are going to talk about something that involves my whole little family, from Shark Fin to Xeusy to Lunabell, and even my mom when she was here visiting this past week.

It's STROLLER PRACTICE.

Yes folks, Shark Fin and I decided that the best way to prep our fur-covered babies for the arrival of Baby R is to set up as much as possible, as early as possible, and to interject things about her into our regular routine. And so began Stroller Practice.

We received a stroller/travel system thing from one of Jeff's co-workers at the squadron. Judging by the color scheme (it's silvery-grey and black) I think it is the SQUADRON'S stroller, but whatever, it was free and until we require the double stroller, we have free use of it. ANYWAYS, every evening that the two of us are home together, we try to take the dynamic doggy duo out for a long walk prior to dinner time. It's a good time for all of us to bond in the great outdoors, plus we have an open field over by us that they can go off-leash in and chase eachother at warp speed. Unless I feel like complete crap, it's been pretty consistent, too.
Recently, we decided to intergrate pushing the baby stroller into the evening stroll. The first couple times, we left the stroller empty. They adjusted to it rolling along beside them pretty well, (well, after getting nudged by a wayward wheel or two).
But this weekend, we added another element to the walk.
We have been training them on us carrying the "baby" around using this stuffed monkey doll for a few months now. This weekend, I dressed the monkey in one of Baby R's outfits and a hat and put the monkey in the stroller, too.

It was EXCITING.

Now, after three or so walks with the monkey, the excitement has kind of died down, but the residual idea of getting them adjusted to a highly desireable being in the stroller still holds firm. Even over in the field, the puppies will run and run and run...... htne come over to me and the stroller, give the monkey a kiss and then take off again.

And really, that's the way it should be. :)

Thoughts on the arrival of my favourite season

As the arrival of this little person approaches, I have been thinking more and more about where our life is at right now.
What kind of situations we are bringing her into the middle of, and what changes, if any, need to be made prior to her arrival.
And, let me tell you, that shit is HARD sometimes. I've never been so able to step back and reflect on my life, my choices, my experiences that got me to where I am right now so clearly or with such vigor.
I want her to be able to come into an environment and her little mini-world of PEACE more than anything else. And for that to happen, there are some things I have been battling that need to be confronted and remedied.

I'm quite frankly, a complete pussy when it comes to confrontations with people that know me, people that have spent time with me, past or present.... it makes every blow that is delivered open further, sink deeper, scar thicker... way worse for everyone at the time of impact than if it's an aquaintance, y'know? I am committed, for her sake, to making the effort to move towards the peaceful place that I know is just on the other side of this tangled, thorn-filled forest, though.
Since graduating from high school way back when, so many changes have already taken place. People have moved in and out of my life, some are deeply missed, some not so much.
Some people moved out only to recently try to make their way back in again.
I struggle with how to address those relationships. On one hand, we were obviously friends at that past point in time because we had something in common, a bonding element, to sustain our relationship. It may have been a common group of friends or a class or a belief.... whatever it was, it did exist then. But, as we moved forward into life, that common element was lost or separated or done away with (at least I feel like it was) and new, different people filled that place the relationship with the previous person had vacated... or the need for that type of person in my life went away. Whatever the reason or the outcome, the relationship went dormant. Distance between the two parties entered and was established. Life moved forward, apart.

And then, life happens. The "expected chain of events" starts churning forward and we are thrust back into common spaces. Contact is re-established......

What do you do when the effort necessary to sustain a friendship is undesirable to you? When, you reflect on the relationship at hand and are more happy, more fulfilled, more content to reflect on times past than on any possibility of times to come? What if you want the memories, but no new ones? What if you were content to say goodbye back then and move forward, only to be pulled back in by thoughts of obligation, common history, and shared relationships with people that still hold the same place in your hearts that they always have?........ places that this other person no longer resides in.

This is what I am struggling with.
I have never been a confrontational person. I am more than happy to avoid the dynamics of a difficult situation with a person until it either disappears or works itself out on it's own. It's even worse of a feeling when I know this struggle is a solitary one. I, by no means, want to cause anyone any pain but sustaining this relationship causes me distress, more than any good emotion and I can't do that either.... not with this little person coming into the world. How could I ever teach her about the importance of honesty, self-worth, and confidence when in this situation I currently have none? How do you end a friendship, on good terms, when one person is pushing so hard to make it work and you are ignoring it's even happening.

Angelina, how I love thee!

Shark Fin and I went to see "Wanted" last night, for our semi-regular midweek date night.

We usually choose to go to the movies during the week or early during the day on the weekends because tickets are only $5 per person instead of $10, and the movies are usually less crowded (well, unless you're going to see Wall-E). The customer service at the local AMC Theatre is generally better, too, depending (again) on what movie you're going to see and how many small people you have in tow. I know, I know, we could just go to another theatre (there are Regal Cinemas and Cinema Cafes here, too), but I am really partial to the AMC. Their theatres and restrooms are clean, the lobby and concession stand are well-stocked, and the seats are all those ones that convert to loveseats if you're feeling snuggly. The only issue I have is that they seem to really book their popular or first-weekend shows to capacity, and they give you no notification when you buy tickets that you may have to bribe the people already in the theatre to scooch over so you can find somewhere to sit. But, that's a gripe for another time....

This post is about Angelina.

It may surprise some people that do not know me very well, but I have an extreme affection for all things Angelina Jolie. From her black-leather wearing, Billy-Bob-Thorton's blood carrying days to her humanitarian efforts and mother of the world attitude, she fascinates me and captivates me and I just think she is amazing. I love how she can seemlessly blend her tattoos and her creativity and her openmindedness with her love for her children (and the world's children), her compassion for those around her and her overall air of selflessness. Aside from her lack of belief in God, she is the type of person I strive to be. In the movie, she was completely bad-ass. Okay, I'm not so bad-ass. As a matter of fact, I can kind of be a wimp when it comes to anything I may become injured doing. She (obviously) does not have this fear. It is something I would like to overcome. There is one scene in the film where she is driving away from a car chase and the Dodge Viper she's driving is all torn up from the chase. She pulls up next to these two college age guys, who turn to look at the car (imagining some big guy driving it) and find Angelina in her sunglasses and tattoos. I want to experience that, only I want to give to have the sunglasses and the tattoos and the sweet car, and then after they look at me like, "wow, she's soooo hot!" have my little girl from the backseat chime in with, "mommy, put gwen stefani on."
Priceless.

So, revised goasl for the complete Angelina Jolie experience:

1. Continue to grow long hair. Keep it pretty brown color. Be nice to it.
2. Get more tattoos.
3. Find a workout routine that I love and can stick with, to get some muscle tone, but still stay thin.
4. Help babies to become awesome people.
5. Find a charity or volunteer opportunity I love and promote it in my daily life.

I think that's enough for now.

Large

Today, I finally feel the size of a house.
I know, I know, I'm pregnant. I'm supposed to get larger than normal.


But today...... today, I feel larger than everything. My pants (the ones I bought after I gained some baby weight) are tight. My maternity-esque shirts are even riding up a bit. It was hard to walk the puppies back up the stairs after our walk today. I had to park farther away from the gas pump than normal just to make sure I could get out of the Jeep. I could go on(and on!), but the point is, I finally FEEL 26 WEEKS PREGNANT.

Reminds me that I still have a lot to do to get ready for Baby R. I need to pace myself better, set goals I can hit, and enlist the assistance of the people that are getting ready to visit. AND I need to set time aside for fun stuff for ME because me-time is going to become scarce here in a few months.

I feel adult right now.

Scary.

August

I haven't blogged since July.

I know, slacker me.

It's not that I haven't had things to write about or rant about or just hash out in front of the eyes of the world...... it's more that I haven't properly made time to do so.

And let's be real here. I need to make time.

Otherwise, the pandemonium that is the day to day activities of my brain will implode shortly and then who will bring Baby R into the world in November and teach her all the awesome things about random daytime TV, crafting, and the wonderfulness that is No Doubt? Seriously. Her life would be sad and empty without me. :)



Really, a lot has been going on here in Virginia.

From our progress with the baby's room to my cutting of hours at work, we have been doing and seeing and experiencing a roller coaster of emotions.
We put a screen door on the front door, to increase the airflow throughout the house (once the intense Virginia heat goes away). Shark Fin even made sure to put a lock on it, so neither baby nor doggie can escape! I was very excited about getting it, so much I think I beamed every time I opened the front door and saw it... for about 4 days. Haha. I have always wanted a white screen door.
Xeus had his 2nd birthday on the 28th and well, it was a quiet affair. (Actually...... we forgot about it until the 30th, my best friend's birthday. I'm a bad fur-baby mom!) We got him a new collar. It's black with white bones on it. I'll have to post a picture of him all handsome in it later on. The new collar on the birthday is like their doggie right of passage. Lunabell desperately needs a new one, but she will have to wait until October for that. For now, since she has broken 3 this year already, she's wearing Xeus' old one with the turtles on it. She makes it bad-ass. Haha. Anyways, it's hard to believe my little french-toast scented furbaby is 2 years old! We used to snuggle on the couch everyday from Days of Our Lives til Oprah and now, I don't know if we both would fit on our couch! He's still a snugglebug, even though he's 82.5 pounds, and he's become the gentle giant I always knew he would be. I know we got him on a whim and I know it hasn't always been easy (boxing gloves and wedding shoes, anyone?), but I wouldn't trade that doggie for the world and I know Shark Fin feels the same way (if not stronger). Happy Birthday Xeusy!
I started construction on my first baby-stuff project yesterday and have passed it on to my test subject. My fingers are crossed, as well as my toes, that it gets a good review. If it doesn, whoo buddy! the sky is the limit! Baby Empire here I come.
And, for the final revelation, let me wave my dork flag high.

I started playing World of Warcraft with Shark Fin.

Go ahead and make fun of me. I kinda like it. :)

Happy Tuesday y'all.

ps. One more thing. My bestest most wonderful sister in law is coming to stay with me for a weekend the end of the month. Now if that doesn;t kick ass, I don;t know what does!

Date Ideas!

Check this out!

Cheap date ideas!

(I totally stole this from Motherhood for Dummies, she rocks!)

SERIOUS! LIFE!

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about. - Oscar Wilde

Let's discuss this quote, shall we.

As I sit here at my desk on a Tuesday morning, I am overwhelmed with the frailty of my life and the life that I am carrying. Not because anything bad has happened recently, moreso because I have realized over the last few weeks that I am not the same person, physically, mentally or emotionally that I was before I became pregnant and, more importantly, that I will probably never go back to the way I was. This pregnancy, and the process of being pregnant, has forever altered the way I "do" life, the way Shark Fin "does" life, and probably, the way our families "do" life. Really, aside from when we adopted the puppies, neither one of us have ever had someone depend so solely on us for every little thing they need. This baby will be doing just that, more than the puppies ever could. We have done more planning, preparing, debating and discussing for this little person that anything before it.
We have talked about where we will be in three years when this enlistment for Shark Fin is up, because right about that time, Baby R will be getting ready to head into preschool. Do we want to stay in the sunshine and sand of Virginia? Or, do we want to move back to the Midwest, where our families are based? How important is it to us that Baby R, and the other children to come, have their family around them? Or, are we comfortable enough in Virginia, to make our own "family" of friends here and really put down roots (ie. move out of Alcatraz into something with a bunch of bedrooms & bathrooms, a yard and a garage)?
(And really, we will probably have another baby in three years, so we will have even more to consider.)

But, going back to the quote...... Life is WAY! IMPORTANT! and really people, our every step is not up to us. It is dictated by the decisions we make and are in the process of making, the people and environment we surround ourselves with, the food we eat (and the indigestion it gives us!), the amount of sleep we get, and primarily, our every step is in God's hands. And I really believe it can change at any moment. God could tell me tonight that he wants us to move to Seattle, and as much as I would hate moving again, I'd do it because that would be where I am supposed to be. God could put it in Shark Fin's lap to go on deployment again, to do an IA in Iraq, to get promoted, to leave tomorrow for a really dangerous training across the country.... and we would do it, because that is where we are lead.
If we are too serious and mull over too many minute details about every little thing we do, we will get bogged down and frustrated with our lives, when our lives are meant to be ENJOYED, to be EXPERIENCED, to be LIVED. That's right. LIVED.
This baby is going to have a great, incredible, awesome life no matter what color my nursery walls are or what kind of crib set it has or if I decide to breast- or bottle-feed. Why? Because it will be LOVED and it will get a chance to really LIVE.

Everything else? Well, we'll decide that when the time comes.

Family Moment Monday

Here I am participating in Family Moment Monday, courtesy of Motherhood for Dummies.



My current favorite family moment is what I like to call "Baby Building."

See, I have Shark Fin working his TAIL OFF with little projects to get ready for the impending arrival of Baby R. I am pretty much rendered useless at present, either by the ridiculous Virginia Heat or various other pregnancy no-nos, but believe you me, list-making and project-planning is fa skill I have in tenfold!

Since I cannot actively assist in many of my projects, my position in the construction is that of cheerleader, cold-drink provider and mistake-pointer-outer (hehe!).

This weekend, we accomplished these things:

1. We framed in the window seat/storage space in the kitchen. Yay! I have been planning this project for almost two years, but once I drew up the plans (on graph paper! in proportion!), Shark Fin was all over it.


2. We set up the crib (Shark Fin's), scraped all the old stickers and what-not off the dresser (mine), and re-arranged the furniture upstairs to the baby room set-up. Now, all we have to do is paint the furniture white and get a couple more pieces of it, and that part of the planning will be done!
   

I love that Shark Fin and I are able to come together on something like this, since it gives us both a real sense of purpose and direction and focus for this baby. By working towards these common projects and goals, and seeing them take shape together, we feel more and more like we are really ready to welcome this baby into the world... in just 120-ish short days!

What are your Family Moments?